Guide to military relationships By PickUpSuccessGuide.com Staff Hannah could not believe her husband Ted is finally coming h9ome, after two years of being deployed in different countries. They have been married for two years and a half and they have only been together as husband and wife barely four months before he was called on duty. She was excited and somewhat nervous because she could not imagine how it would feel to have a man in the house again. She could not even decide whether to have a family reunion or to prepare a trip for just the two of them, sort of like a second honeymoon. Hannah though it strange to have a husband and be with him for only a few months, And now, her husband is finally coming home and she does not even know how to welcome him. Civilian spouses are usually faced with the problem of how to treat a returning military spouse. They may have communicated all the years they were apart through letters, but having a military spouse return and stay home for awhile can give anyone the creeps. What if he is not the same man or woman you married? What if being deployed for a year or more has made him a stranger? While it is difficult for a civilian spouse to welcome a returning military spouse, imagine what it would have felt like for a military spouse, to go home to a strange house. The military spouse has been used to living with his military buddies and it would be difficult to adjust and leave with his family again. How to treat a spouse returning h9ome from deployment 1. Try to be as cheerful and creative as possible when welcoming a returning military spouse. If the spouse has been away for quite sometime, then it would be good to welcome him with the rest of his family. If there are children, try to get them involved in making a banner or welcome flag for the returning spouse. Cook his favorite food so he would remember the good old days before his deployment. This might bring back good memories which will help him relax in his surroundings. 2. Allow the spouse some time to adjust to the new people around him and to his new surroundings. Remember, he has been away for a long time and everything will be new to him including family rules which you might have established while he was away. Do not expect him to immediately carry on with house chores or family activities as if he never left home. This will only lead to complications. Give him space to find himself in his new surroundings. 3. Help the returning spouse get back to the beat of life with his family. His absence from the family home for a year or more, may have left him with hazy memories of you and your children if there are any. He has gotten accustomed to military life so prepare to accept his faults and moods. Perhaps, he needs a little ore time to get to know his family again. 4. Expect change sin his behavior as he may have some experienced during deployment that might have affected his usual behavior. Most military personnel who have been deployed in war zones usually suffer from the after- effects of seeing death in the face when they get home. Some act strange, some are particularly quiet and difficult to please. Have patience and give your spouse breathing space. 5. Do not rush things and do not expect everything to return to normal immediately. Your spouse has been away for a long time that even you might be having doubts on how to treat him. He may also feel the same way and more strongly. There is more reason to be considerate of your returning spouse because while you have been left in fixed and peaceful surroundings, he was deployed to a strange place where his life was placed in danger. 6. Give time for the children and the spouse to get to know each other again but do no rush things nor expect the spouse to become buddies with the children as soon as he gets home. The children may have been used to having you in the house and may show disrespect or strange behavior in the presence of the returning spouse. Being husbands and wives again after a year or more of being physically separated can be challenging for both spouses. Just give yourselves more time to get to know the person you love and to accept whatever changes that may have occurred to each other during the years when you were not together. If you really love each other, adjusting to each other's presence will not be as difficult.